Thousands of years ago, on an Island in the middle of the sea between two countries, an Island where the sun always shines, and no shadow touches, the Four Great Races came into being. The Elves were first, immortal, wisest and fairest of all. Then came the Kairachai, great Elves of the air, with wings like angels. Then, the Dwarf Lords awoke, the great miners and delvers. Finally, came the Humans, mortal, and still fair and wise, but not as wise as elves, and more battle-willing.
All lived in years of peace, as the first major cities came into being, and civilisations built slowly up. The two countries were named Laurelond and Retanyai, and the Island Taragar. The peoples were prosperous and united. All lived in the blessed light of the Gods. But then, the darkness was first seen, and the sun set for the first time, as Valune, Goddess of Darkness came into being. She brought forth plagues and monsters, mighty Dragons, cold Wraithes, wild Werewolves, and blood-thirsty Vampires.
The peoples slowly broke apart, and made war upon each other. The elves committed the Kinslayings, a brother slaying the other, the King, and many of his people, passing into the shadow, and becoming the first of the Drow. The Kairachai too, slew each other, splitting into two races, the Light and the Fallen. All was chaos and bloodshed, cities fell, and dragons slaughtered all they could find, as a Dark Lord rose to power.
But hope remained, and the Darkness was eventually destroyed, the land cleaned and healed, and the followers of Darkness headed deep into the caverns of the world, waiting for their time to come again...
Now, in the Age of Syros, monsters are appearing once more, and secrets of the past are being revealed. And in the Holy City of St Meriam...something awakes.....
ABOUT US
Laurelond
A place for dreams...
Age of Syros
Year 112
September
Autumn. Cool, and mostly wet all over the continent.
Laurelond
« Very Secret Diary of an Overworked Professor »
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Topic: Very Secret Diary of an Overworked Professor (Read 4 times)
Charlothiena Administrator Webmistress member is offline
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Very Secret Diary of an Overworked Professor « Thread Started on Aug 3, 2009, 12:19pm »
Very Secret Diary of an Overworked and Underpaid Professor.
A/N: An ongoing story—book five, but Professor Centric—and told through Rolanda Xiomara Hooch’s—hopefully entertaining—point of view. This is the first chapter. Enjoy. Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter, even Miss Hooch.
1st September 1995
6:30 am
Wake up to the annoying sound of Dedalus Diggle on Wizradio 2. Fumble blindly for my alarm clock and end up pressing the ‘sleep’ button instead of the ‘off’ button. It’ll be on for another hour now. Perfect.
6:45 am
Give up on going back to sleep, and drag myself out of bed and to the kitchen to make myself a strong black coffee. House seems strangely cold. I drink my coffee in sleep-dazed air, abandon the cup in the empty sink bowl for someone else to clean up, and drag myself into the shower. Shower strangely cold too. I wrap a towel around myself, and pad out to the boiler cupboard, leaving little wet foot prints and puddles everywhere. Well, what do you know? The boiler’s broken so no hot water. Lovely. Don’t know why I agreed to stay in this place. Surely an overworked, famous damn Quidditch player and professor like moi deserves better?
7:00 am
Heating has broken too, and I can’t find my tie or my flying goggles anywhere. Gwen and Lance are still in bed. Lazy gits. What’s the use of rooming with your team-mate and her boyfriend when they don’t even get up to make you breakfast or see you off?
7:30 am
Out flying in the early morning...rain. Yep, rain. Just my luck, eh? It’s absolutely chucking it down, and I have to fly to school later. I’m currently on my broom for my daily sunrise flight, freezing my rear off and getting a second shower. I touch ground as soon as possible, crawl inside and dry myself off, before trying to fix my hair in the bathroom mirror. Short, spikey, and looks like I’m six-hundred. Great. So much for appeal.
8:00 am
I’m meant to be in school now for first-morning-back staff meeting. School is in Scotland. I am still in Wales. Excellent. Late for another year, Hooch. I’m starting to think that Dumbles and Minnie only keep me employed because I’m their mate. I’m rubbish at time-keeping.
8:30 am
Set out, but forgot my suitcase and had to fly back. Left a ‘goodbye and thank you’ note for Gwen and Lance. Set out again, but realised I’d forgotten my MP3. Flew back again. Stuff Minnie saying no magically modified muggle objects, I couldn’t live for nine months without the Weird Sisters and Within Temptation.
9:00 am
In mid-air, and it’s raining cats and dogs again. Starting to wish I did a Weasley and a Potter and flew that modified car that I happen to possess.
10:00 am
Am now very late, and still only over Manchester. There’s a slow moving aircraft in front of me, a glider or something. Damn. I can’t overtake it, because I’d be spotted by muggles and that would be breaking the law. Muggles aren’t used to seeing yellow-eyed witches with suitcases hanging off their brooms and a yowling cat on the tail. Damn. Guess I’m stuck being late.
11:20 am
I can see Ben Nevis! Woot! I’m finally in Scotland!
12:30 pm
Stopped for lunch at a McDonalds near Inverness. Carefully parked my broom in the bike shed. Stuff anti-muggle and secrecy laws, I’m too wet, cold, and hungry to care. Made sure to chain my broom and suitcase to the wall, lock them securely, and tell my cat, Paws, to keep watch. Can’t be too careful. As Moody says continuously, ‘Constant Vigilance!’ Besides, if someone steals my broom, how will I get to Hogwarts? Last time I apparated, I splinched myself and left one eyeball in a muggle shopping centre. Uncomfortable, and highly embarrassing. Not risking that again.
Once in the restaurant, my eyes terrified a muggle gentleman behind the counter. Said ‘gent’ merely gaped at me as though I was insane or something as I ordered, very politely, a McChicken Sandwich and a Coca-Cola. Another guy dressed in black and crimson with purple highlights in his black hair asked me where I got my ‘amazing contacts’. I was a little confused, until I realised that he thought my eyes were fakes. I confess myself astounded at the ignorance of muggles, at their strange fashion senses, at the sheer amount of grease in a McChicken Sandwich and at the hugely over-the-top number of ice-cubes in my Coca-Cola. To top it all, I only just remembered to pay with a tenner instead of a galleon. Oops.
As I left and headed outside to unlock my broom and pick up my belongings and guard-cat, a scruffy, middle-aged muggle man looked me up and down and wolf-whistled at me. Have decided I must be either hopelessly athletic or gorgeous, or simply must attract the wrong types.
1:30 pm
Just descending into the school grounds, a whopping six and a half hours late. Am soaking wet again and dying for the loo. Hoping that Moaning Myrtle isn’t in the Staff Toilets again.
1:35 pm
Well, that was a perfect landing. Smashed straight through the stain glass window on the seventh floor that’s been there since the Founders Era, instantly collided with one of only five talking gargoyles in the entire school, skidded on the suddenly very wet floor, and came to rest against a suit of armour, knocking it into the next, causing a domino effect and a very loud crash. Oops.
Minnie is running up the stairs, exceedingly fast for a woman of nearly seventy, especially one wearing a stiff tartan gown and high-heeled boots. She doesn’t look happy to see me; on the contrary, in fact. She looks highly cross, dark hair coming out of its tidy bun, lips pressed tight into a very thin line and emerald eyes flashing the infamous McGonagall Glare at me behind her spectacles. I’m screwed.
2:00 pm
Minnie dragged me kicking and screaming into the Hospital Wing, berating me relentlessly about being so stupid and careless in the school grounds, all in her shrillest Scottish brogue. Isn’t that lovely of her? Especially as Poppy soon started her own tirade of ‘-can’t you ever be more careful?’ and ‘-silly Hawk.’ Quickly followed by tickly Diagnostic spells that found nothing but kept me glittering like a bloody fairy for an hour afterwards, and Poppy’s intense mothering.
What’s worse was, Severus was in the Wing, brewing Healing Potions for Poppy’s use and laughing at me while I suffered that torture. Greasy git. He’ll get a punch to his over-engorged nose this year, if he’s not careful.
3:00 pm
Afternoon staff meeting. Have just been informed by a twinkly-as-ever looking Dumbles that our new DADA teacher is none other than Dolores Jane Umbridge, the bully who made my school life hell. I swear, if she says anything...!
3: 05 pm
Oh well. At least the stupid old toad will only be here a year. Good old DADA curse.
3:10 pm
Severus Snape just insulted me. “Still looking elderly, Hooch?” Jackass. Just because his wonky hair-restoration potion turned me silver prematurely!
4:00 pm
Decided to go for a fly even though it still resembles a hurricane out there and Poppy told me explicitly to stay inside. Oh well. When do I ever listen to her, anyway? Decided I’m going to send a bludger into the staffroom window. Snape’s in there.
4:10 pm
Snape found and exploded my bludger. Not before it smashed two staffroom windows and knocked a portrait off of the wall, just as Minnie walked in. She knew it was me, and is looking pretty cross. I’m screwed.
4:20 pm
Minnie’s put me on toilet duty for a week. Luckily, I can easily feign illness and be believable enough for her to remove the duty. Thank heavens for my puppy-dog eyes trick that looks so cute, and for my natural ability to lie my way out of sticky situations. She might forget all about it anyway.
4:55 pm
Just caught Umbridge taking the mickey out of Septima Vector. Poor girl looks close to tears. Heading to my room, as I’m feeling pretty homicidal right now.
6:00 pm
Time to shower and get ready for the welcome feast. Umbridge waylaid me in the Hallway and insulted my style of dress. Honestly, this blouse and pair of trousers are from Topshop, and my shoes from Brantano Footwear. In another words, pricey and in-fashion, rather than the cheap, pink, fluffy rubbish that she wears that makes her look like a ninety-something.
7:00 pm
Welcome Feast. Am sat between Poppy Pomfrey and Laurel Dean. She’s the Ancient Runes teacher. Nice enough, for a Slytherin. Hagrid appears to be absent, and a very sea-sick and half-drowned looking Pomona Sprout escorts the first years into the Hall. They all look even more drowned than she does, but that’s probably because Peeves was lobbing water bombs at them as they entered. Poor things. They seem to get smaller and more frightened looking every year. Poppy is cooing like a broody pigeon next to me. I grant her a well-deserved kick in the shins. She shuts up, as intended.
Soon, the Sorting is over and done with, and Dumbles begins his welcome speech. The Umbitch rises from her seat, letting out the usual ‘hem, hem.’ Doesn’t she have the fakest cough imaginable?
7:10 pm
‘Progress must be discouraged for progress’ sake’ or whatever it was. What the hell does she mean by that?! Obviously something awful as Poppy and Minnie look pretty homicidal. Sybil has just spilt her meal all over herself and Irma Pince. Poor Irma. I’d swap seats, but...I have some pretty interesting company here.
7:15 pm
Sybil has just drunk Irma’s wine after putting her cream in her own. The look on Irma’s face is priceless. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.
7:30 pm
FOOD!! Finally I get to solve my intense suffering and starvation that my undue politeness caused. Mash Potatoes and Pasta and Pepperoni Pizza and....CHIPS! Glorious, golden brown, delicious, hot, smothered-in-tomato-ketchup CHIPS! Stuff the boring diet I’m meant to be on. Stuff the calories. I’ll burn them all off anyway. I’ve noticed that Umbridge is currently resembling a large, pink, fluffy pig at her trough.
The way she eats-no wonder Minerva looks slightly sick. Or perhaps as though she’s about to choke on her tiny portion of healthy-as-hell cheese-less Vegetable Lasagne. Must be nausea. Minerva McGonagall only ever chokes when she’s trying not to laugh at a prank she’s pulled. As far as I know, she hasn’t pranked anyone since she was seventeen.
8:00 pm
Not sure I can manage desert. Eaten too many chips, and I’m starting to feel a bit warm and wobbly. Starting to think I might have had a bit too much wine. Surely one more glass can’t hurt?
8:30 pm
It is official. For the first time in sixteen years, I am drunk. I’m wobbling and giggling and making a right prat of myself, thankfully not in front of the students. Dumbles has sent them to bed. Poppy and Aury have offered to support me up to my room in Gryffindor Tower. Isn’t that sweet of them? Luckily, Minnie is easily as wobbly and giggly as I am.
9:00 pm
My head finally hits my pillow, and the room ceases its insufferable spinning. I feel very, very sleepy, as I’m full of fine wine and good food and had such a long, long day, and I’m rambling I know but I’m just...so....tired....
11:00 pm
Just been woken by a small, fluffy, purring lump taking its place on the bottom of my bed. Bloody cat. Have the headache the size of a storm cloud...or the Astronomy Tower...or...one Death Eater, two Death Eaters, three Death Eaters....
11:55 pm
Just woken up again and realised that in five more minutes, I’ll have survived the first day of term. Go me!
A/N: How do you like it so far? Please send me your thoughts. I hope my Hooch is to your liking.
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